What a Beautiful Vista! This is a photo of Ireland I took off of the internet.
One of the things that you learn as you get older is that you get smarter. In many cases, you get more attractive, or at least, you are more comfortable in your own skin. Then it hits - the Over the Hill syndrome. First, there's high blood pressure, cholesterol, maybe it's diabetes. There are a myriad of things that hit us as we get older. Our eyes fail us, hearing, the hair goes in the men. In the women, it's wrinkes, crows feet, all those cosmetic things that drive us crazy.
Then sometimes, we get hit with horrid things, like cancer, multiple sclerosis or leukemia or equally as evil ailments that rob us of life.
There is an ailment out there that is little known. It hides in the shadows, strikes without warning, steals your health, your strength, your abilities, your hope.
I was never a big fan of scary movies, but if I had to make a parallel to a scary movie, it would be the Body Snatcher. One night, you go to bed fine, and the next day, you wake up, an invalid. You are not the same person any more. Walking, driving, household chores, everything is extremely difficult. If you do any of these things, such as take a walk, or clean your house, you will most likely pay for it the next day by being in bed the entire day, unable to move.
At this point in my life, I find myself afflicted with this horrid disease. It began to come on me I believe sometime in the year 2000. I've always been rather strong willed so I blew it off, and continued to do so. But began having to take thyroid meds and then this med and then that med and on and on we went. After hip surgery in 2001, I was unable to recover as I should have. I found myself falling deeper and deeper into a pit I could not get out of. I would have wandering pains. First, my knees hurt, then my shins, then my ankles. My heating pad was my best friend, along with my Darvocet, which didn't help much.
I realize this is a rather depressing subject, but I beg you to stick with me. The subject is not about ME, per se. There are many of us. This disease is very difficult to get diagnosed and many times, will go undiagnosed. Many times, if you try to tell your doctor you have this disease, he/she will pooh-pooh you, telling you it's all in your head, that you need to lose weight, get more exercise, etc. And, herein lies the rub. If we could, we would. But, we are no longer ourselves. The most evil part of this disease is that there is nothing - no nothing that can be done for the sufferer.
Since I am strongwilled, I have refused to give up hope that I would someday get better. I've only been diagnosed for a few months, but have known that something was desperately wrong for a long, long time. I can't and won't tell you I haven't gotten angry and complained and yelled and cried and all of those things - I have. But, when I get my wits back, I go to the Lord and tell Him I'm sorry, that I love Him.
You see, my strength has been in my Lord. I know He has a purpose in this, I just do not know what. Possibly to make me depend on Him, to make me listen to His still small voice instead of depending on myself, which I have been so likely to do all of these years. I don't know.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is not fatal. Sometimes you wish it was. But, with the help of others and the knowledge that God is in Control, I will prevail.
Maybe He gave me this to minister to others. If so, so be it. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is GOOD, and He will take care of us, if we let Him.
To God be the Glory, Amen
1 comment:
Boy can I relate! Aging is such a difficult process. For me its a combination of shock at the fallen state of my body, disbelief at the rate it is declining, and denial that this is really happening.
Adversely, my wisdom and knowledge have increased and I do like myself finally.
My sister who is 32 has been recently diagnosed with systemic lupus. Before it was discovered, it nearly took her life. Now she is being treated and feeling better but Lupus will always define her life from here on out. Children may no longer be possible.
I feel for those who suffer chronic ailments. i can't imagine how hard it must be to face everyday already not feeling well.
My prayers are with you.
Post a Comment